Wayback

There is a place by a river outside the city I was born in, where I found a way to bring my own body to life. While the world teaches you to hunch and shelter, bundle up tight and hide your heart, there are ways back to wildness. They are not comfortable.

Wayback

I’m lost in the wayback, where they found Brian’s body
Where Alanna was pulled from the ice by her brother
Where boys die from jumping too far and then breaking
Their bones, their hearts, their mothers’ lives
And I’m so full of sorrow and patience and terror
It just hurts so much brighter from here

But I’ve walked through valleys with you and the horses
Where Moses struck stone with his staff to find water
Where bolder men choke on their own desires
And never know what it means to be free
But you are a teacher, an ember, a beacon
And there’s something of you in my eyes

I can take off my clothing to swim in the water
The cold burns my body, I’m holding my daughter
She’s shaking and growing so tall in the summer
We swim in the morning shade
How will we survive in these turbulent times?
I’m wild beyond my years

I’m lost in the wayback, where Brian went searching
Where the earth gave way and the snow fell like thunder
Where boys are still jumping with courage and abandon
And the know what it means to be free
And I’m so full of wonder and patience and terror
It just hurts so much brighter from here

(c) Kesia Nagata 2018

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